Who's up for a barbecue?

If anyone finds those tricky bars of gold the banks says they can't cash-

I'll pay you well for them.

Well now, I DO like me some pina coladas. Not so much the getting caught in the rain part, though. Not that there's been any rain, oh no, it's been pretty nice out here.

Rocking the boat. getting a nice tan. rocking the boat some more.

yup.

If you're not too busy at the cop shop, I've got a pain in the ass project you might be able to shed some light on. Hasn't killed anyone that I know of, but it ties into that week you spent handcuffed underground.

I really think the words what, the and hell are all in order right now.

So,, without further interruptions.

What the hell?

Don't get me wrong, I was a little bit what the hell about a lot of things is my life lately but this? This takes the cake, ice cream, party balloons and all the presents to boot.

I'm...going to go find alcohol. That seems to be the appropriate answer here.

Barring any MORE unforeseen disasters, I'm aiming to open Frye Mechanics the end of this month or thereabouts. If anyone's got any inclination toward fixing machines of all sorts, you're more'n welcome to come on down and show me your stuff! I might well have a job for you.

Otherwise, til I get more staff, I might make myself available by appointment only.

♥ Kaylee ♥

Most of you have probably heard by now that I've been mustered out from the NMPD. Before the smartasses decide to get in their remarks, just remember that if I wasn't afraid to fight City Hall I'm not going to think twice about knocking you on your ass, either.

Anyway. For a long time now I've been collecting overtime-heavy public-servant pay and been keeping too busy to spend it. Now I'm going to do the opposite -- cash in and relax as many hours of the day as I can. Maybe go into business for myself.

I'm open to suggestions, as long as you've got something more creative than "buy me a drink."

[Locked to Kaylee and Joker.]

Got a few ideas on the business end of things. Just sent a picture to both your phones of a boat down at the pier -- a 48-foot motor yacht. Used, but still in decent shape. Now that I've got all the time I want, I was thinking I'd like to spend it on the move -- explore the island, catch some sun, maybe run tours or explorations for people to make a little extra.

If I did it, I'd need a helmsman and an engineer with me. I've got a couple people in mind.

Thinking about calling her the Neptune.

Starting to think it might be easier to just never get outta bed again.

[Text to Shepard]

Are you normal again?

[a kid comes into frame, he's wearing cargo pants and looks 100% geared up for war]

So, where do I get my class schedule?

Uh. And if I had a gun with me before showing up, is it still around? I'd like it back.

[he's always facing the camera as he speaks, someone observant might notice he's not nearly as calm as he's trying to look]

WHO: Lin Beifong, former Police Chief Shepard
WHAT: Shepard's discharge
WHEN: Feb 27th, roughly 9 am
WHERE: Shepard's former office
WARNINGS: possible language and violence? Not sure yet.

( Lin had chafed under Shepard's command, but this was not the way she had thought she would be taking charge. )

With the crime rate up six hundred percent in twelve hours and property damage estimated at two-point-nine million dollars and rising, as Chief of Police I am officially declaring a state of emergency and placing this island under martial law.

As of 2000 hours island time on February Twenty-Third, the island is under curfew between dawn and dusk. Anyone whose work schedule requires violation of curfew can come in to the police department and fill out a waiver form. Everyone else, park your asses inside.

All police personnel are immediately on call twenty-four hours a day. If you are called in off shift immediate hazard pay grades apply. Any vigilantes volunteering for deputization will be paid the same. Any vigilantes not volunteering are subject to the same curfew limitations. I don't need to see under the mask. I do need a clear chain of command.

Normal civil and criminal penalties, habeas corpus proceedings, and limitations on incarceration without charges are suspended for the duration of the crisis.

Violators are warned that under a state of martial law police officers are authorized to use all necessary force without prior warning, search and seizure is not subject to a warrant, and you do not have a right to see a lawyer.

This is your one warning. Calm the Hell down. Stay off the streets. Watch your asses.

Sorry I been quiet. First I was working on my shop, and then I got sick, and then people were disappearing on top of that so I ain't exactly been feeling social and ain't been looking at the network very much. Still ain't feeling it, if you wanna know the truth, but I know better than anyone that I can't sit and wallow no more, not if I wanna get around to start feeling better.

I hope I didn't miss nothing important.

Patrol Assignments

Police Station: Chief Shepard, Secretary Sheska, Precinct Caterer Frye (part-time).

South Beat: Barnes and Sheska's old CO Hughes, if he's still up for it.

East Beat: America.

North Beat: Beckett.

West Beat: Beifong and Cooper.



I don't need to tell you the bad news comes first. Fifty-eight hour weeks and swing shifts are back on. And I need a new volunteer for Jackass Liaison.


Beckett, you're still on homicide. America, still Meth. Beifong, still the ambulance spree.


Good news is next.


Hughes, whenever you can start, your signing bonus just doubled.


Everyone else, you're up for raises. And a little more.


Cooper, Barnes, America: congratulations, you've all made Detective. There's a test you have to take if I'm going to make that stick, so get studying and don't flunk it.


Beifong. Beckett. As of this moment, the two of you are jumping three grades up to Inspector. For the moment you'll have to share an office. Sorry, Beckett. More importantly, you now have the discretion to do basically whatever the Hell you want, including requisitions from the budget. I'm the only one in this building authorized to give you orders. The shift captains who handle the nonfictional beats are drawing the same check you are.

Whoever's got the better closure rate next quarter makes DCP. And a bigger office, even if I have to kick someone else out of theirs.



Everyone: if you find talent, anyone who wants to co-ordinate with us, bring the offer to me, Beifong, or Beckett, and we'll either get them a consulting fee or slap on a badge. I am not going to stay this short-handed for long.


Our official mandated policy of zero tolerance and non-cooperation with vigilante forces is stricken, effective immediately. If they won't give us real names they don't get on the payroll. But whoever takes Jackass Liaison can deal with them the same way you would with an authorized confidential informant.


If the island wants to screw with the police force, I'm more than ready to show them I give as good as I get.

So it looks like Steve's been 'released' too, huh? Punk didn't even say goodbye.

[ If you need him, he's sitting in his apartment and looking sadly at Steve's uniforn and shield. ]

[Ooo, Sheska looks... terrible, actually. Wrapped in a blanket, she's flushed but still shivering visibly.]

I think I've come d-d-down with something... [She stops to make an unhappy face and force her teeth to stop chattering.] I'm afraid my plans for the weekend will have to be put on hold. I'm sorry. [She drops her chin, shame-faced. Does she really think it's her fault she caught something? Apparently. Oh, well maybe it was the sneeze that she just muffled in her blanket.] If anyone needs me, I'll be at home for a few days, trying to fend off whatever this is before it gets any worse.

Right. So, I guess this is the part where I ask, "dude, where's my ship?"

Judging by what I've seen on the network, it doesn't look like anyone believes they really took the red pill. But since everyone's still here and not, you know, having a life, I'm guessing we've all been granted an extended vacation on the most boring island possible. Well, that's just great.

Hey, at least my new apartment's got rails and a sprung floor. I'm so glad my jail cell's been baby-proofed. Thanks, docs.

So, just outta curiosity, how hard is it to start a new business here?

OK, it ain't just curiosity, I been thinking since I been here a year, I might as well settle down and make a go at having my own mechanic shop. I get enough requests just being self-employed that I think I could make a whole business out of it, and it'd make my job a whole lot easier having lots of parts and a space to work in and all.