[Since she's spent all day fiddling with her phone, perhaps it's not quite such a surprise that she's figured out the audio function. And given the current situation, perhaps it's not unreasonable for her to be not-quite-wailing.]

I really don't think I want to be here anymore! [CRASH!] Ah! What was that? Oh my goodness... It-- it's a person, but its cloak is fingers? [Something explodes and she squeaks, muffled like she's put her hand over her mouth.] I-I think it just blew up that garbage can because there was a cat near it! Is he an alchemist? Why would he do something like that?

I want to go home now... At least there all we had to worry about were mad gunman, not psychopaths with living cloaks!

[there's a chuckle on the other end of the receiver, and whoever's listening can almost see his nonchalant shrug.]

Looks like we hit this shit again.

I just wanted to leave a kind reminder that the business is still up and running for whoever needs a hired hand. I'll give a discount for anyone who can give me a good challenge.

Alright, everyone, listen very carefully! It appears that the entire town has been flooded with monsters - I'm not familiar with all of them, but I am familiar with several of them, and there are a couple things you all need to know about them!

First, if anyone sees a stone statue of a weeping angel, keep looking at it! They are quantum locked - in the sight of any living creature, they literally turn to stone. But if you turn your head away - if you even blink - they'll be on you in an instant. They are fast, faster than you would believe. If they touch you, then it's all over - they send you back to the past and consume all the days you might have had. Oh, and be careful - they can also drain the lights, even when they're in the stone.

So keep watching, don't even blink - but don't look at the eyes. Look anywhere but the eyes. The image of an angel becomes an angel - if you look in the eyes, the angel will crawl inside your mind!

Second are the Silence. They are memory proof - you can't even remember they were there the instant you look away. They can draw lighting out of anything, and more than that, they can implant suggestions in your head while you're looking at them. It's like post-hypnotic suggestion - you can be doing things and not knowing why you're doing them. If anyone around you is behaving odd, it's possible they're acting on the orders of the Silence.

If you are facing the Silence, try to keep one in sight at all times! If you can, mark yourself in some way so you know you've had an encounter.

Now! I have the TARDIS, and I can come pick people up. If you see a weeping angel, or if you need rescuing from anything, let me know and I'll be there as soon as I can!

Off we go then! GERONIMO!!


UPDATE: There are also green plant creature walking around. Do not get close to these or they will explode!

Also, the silence look like this. Everyone take a look - you'll forget when you're no longer looking, but you'll remember again if you see them. That way you'll know what you're dealing with.


[Private texts to Kaylee, Rose, and Jenny]

Where are you? Are you all right?

[This voice belongs to someone who has a very even, calm tone.]

Excuse me. The way this works is I communicate to this network, everyone may choose to respond, and it may not necessarily be in real-time, correct? Then, if one of you wouldn't mind, I have a few questions when you're available to answer.

I'm going to ask them now to save time.

[The display changes while he speaks.]


The welcoming committee didn't address my question regarding these devices. I was told I can purchase electronics different from what they offered there if I disliked them.

My question was "Who manufactures these?"

[Like a slide-show with a voice-over, it changes again:]


If anyone could give me an overview on trouble experienced while using this network, I'd be grateful.

[It changes one last time:]


I'm also interested in how the peace is kept, along with the local crime rate.

Thanks for your time.