thoughtformed | PRETEND I POSTED THIS 10/18/12 BECAUSE I MEANT TO AND I FORGOT.

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PRETEND I POSTED THIS 10/18/12 BECAUSE I MEANT TO AND I FORGOT.

OK, OK.
I KNOW THE OTHER NAMES I PICKED WERE KIND OF STUPID.
ESPECIALLY TROLL SARAH JESSICA PARKER.
I MEAN HOLY SHIT.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING???
WHY DID I HAVE AN OPINION ON HER AND SARAH JESSICA PARKER?
I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT HER.
I'M NOT GOING TO INSULT HER OR ANYTHING BUT I THINK I WAS JUST BEING CONTRARY.
ANYWAY I KNOW YOU STOPPED LISTENING TO ME BUT HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE.
I THINK I'VE GOT IT THIS TIME.
WHAT ABOUT DREW BARRYMORE.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

but what do i know.

GOD DAMMIT JOHN, WE ARE GOING TO NEED AN AUSPISTICE IF YOU KEEP FUCKING THAT UP.

LET ME PUT THIS FACT OUT HERE WHERE WE BOTH CAN SEE IT.
NOT THAT THIS FACT IS INDECENT AND NOT PRESENTABLE TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC.
IT'S JUST PRESENTING IT TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC WOULD KIND OF DEFEAT THE PURPOSE OF EVERYTHING.
ANYWAY, IMAGINE IT'S A FACT INSIDE A BOX, LIKE [FACT].
THE PARENTHETICAL MANDIBLES ARE THE BOX.
NOW IMAGINE I'M GIVING IT TO YOU LIKE A GIFT.
OH MAN! WHAT'S INSIDE IT, YOU ASK???
OHHHHH SHIT LOOK OUT, A REVELATION!!!
\FACT/
AS YOU CAN SEE THE FACT HAS NOW OPENED UP AT THE TOP,
OR MAYBE THE SIDES HAVE SPROUTED APPENDAGES WHICH THEY TOSS TO THE SKY AS IF PRONOUNCING THE ARRIVAL OF THE MOST VERIFIABLE TRUTH YOU WILL EVER ENCOUNTER IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.

THE FACT SAYS: HEY, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU, DIPSHIT.
:B JUST LOOK AT IT. :B
YOU COULD BE HUMAN-RELATED TO THIS ASCII FACE.
OHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT.
NOW WHAT?

OK, THAT WAS STUPID.
I'M NOT SURE WHAT I WAS GOING FOR THERE SO I'M JUST GOING TO LEAVE IT AT THAT.
BUT ABOUT THE OTHER STUFF YOU JUST SAID.

THANKS.

HONESTLY, ASIDE FROM THE IMPOSSIBLE BOREDOM AND SUPREME STAGNATION THIS PLACE PROMOTES BECAUSE IT'S A FUCKING ISLAND AND WE CAN'T ACTUALLY GO ANYWHERE, IT'S NOT THAT BAD HERE.
IT MAKES ME THINK YOUR ITERATION OF THE HUMAN EARTH PROBABLY WASN'T THAT BAD EITHER.
I STILL THINK ALTERNIA WAS BETTER EVEN WITH ALL THE PROBLEMS IT HAD.
IT'D BE GREAT IF IT WAS OUT THERE SOMEWHERE IN SOME VERSION OF SOME MAGICALLY UNMOLESTED UNIVERSE WHERE WE COULD FIND A WAY BACK.
BUT IF THAT WAS AN OPEN OPTION RIGHT NOW, I DON'T THINK I COULD TAKE IT.
I MEAN FOR ONE I DOUBT YOU'D GO BECAUSE HEY, NO HUMANS EXCEPT YOUR FRIENDS WHO PROBABLY WOULDN'T WANT TO GO EITHER FOR THE REST OF FOREVER.
TWO, IT'D PROBABLY GET OLD PRETTY FAST FOR HUMANS TO LIVE ON A PLANET WHERE EVERYTHING WANTS THEM DEAD INCLUDING THE LOCAL SENTIENT RACE.
AND THREE, YOU'D BE MISERABLE ANYWAY.

I'M NOT SAYING YOU FEEL THIS WAY,
BUT I WANT TO SAY DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE WHOLE CULTURAL ADAPTATION THING.
I'M PROBABLY TAKING IT BETTER THAN ANY OF THEM ARE WITH THE EXCEPTION OF TAVROS.
I THINK HE'S TOO BROKEN TO HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MOST THINGS.

YEAH, I REMEMBER.
I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A CHANCE TO TALK TO HER.

OK, NOW I'LL ADDRESS THE REST OF THIS SHIT.
GIVEN ALL OF WHAT I JUST READ HERE, I CAN SAFELY SAY YOU KNOW JACK SHIT.
WE AREN'T FUCKING FRIENDS.
THIS "CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE" BOOK IS BULLSHIT. THE FACTS AREN'T EVEN RIGHT.
I WOULDN'T YELL FOR 20 CONSECUTIVE MINUTES. I WOULDN'T TRY TO CHEW HIS CAPE OFF EITHER.
I MIGHT JUST PUNCTURE IT A LITTLE BUT OVERALL IT WOULD TAKE A LOT OF TIME TO ACTUALLY CHEW THROUGH IT.
THE REASON IS WHATEVER YOUR GOD TIER FRIPPERY IS MADE FROM, IT'S FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE TO RUIN.

WHAT THE UNMITIGATED FUCK.

WHY DO I KNOW THAT????????????

PLEASE DON'T TELL ME THAT'S SOMETHING I JUST REMEMBERED FROM THE ALPHA TIMELINE.
PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T TELL ME THAT'S SOMETHING I JUST REMEMBERED FROM THE ALPHA TIMELINE.

UGH. FORGET IT.
I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT THIS.

BACK TO WHAT ACTUALLY MATTERS!
THERE WAS A REASON FOR ME FREAKING OUT. I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT IT IS RIGHT NOW BUT WHEN I THINK OF IT I'LL TELL YOU.
I KNOW WHEN I WAS FREAKING OUT I HAD A REALLY GOOD REASON TO BE FREAKING OUT.
AND TO BE FRANK WITH YOU THAT WASN'T EVEN A FULL-SCALE FREAKOUT.
IT WASN'T ANYWHERE NEAR AS BAD AS THE LAST ONE I HAD AND THAT ONE WASN'T EVEN BAD EITHER.
I WOULDN'T EVEN STAY UP FOR TWO WEEKS TO SPITE HIM. WHY SHOULD I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT SPITING HIM.
HE'S A COMPLETE NON-ISSUE AND I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO FEELINGS ON HIM IN ANY REGARD OTHER THAN THE FACT HE'S ONE SMUG SHIT.
THE PRETENTIOUS CAFFEINATED BEVERAGE DIDN'T EVEN WAKE ME UP SINCE I WAS ALREADY AWAKE.
HOW COULD IT WAKE ME UP IF I WAS ALREADY AWAKE?
SO FUCK YOU, YOU'RE A HUMAN DOG, ETC.

ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, I THINK I'M DOING PRETTY WELL.

I WAS JUST KIND OF QUIET FOR A LITTLE WHILE ONCE I REALIZED THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH THE DRINK BECAUSE I STILL DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF IT.
I THOUGHT IT WAS A TRICK.
THERE WAS NO TRICK, JOHN.

NO TRICK AT ALL.
BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THERE WON'T BE.

HE'S UP TO SOMETHING.

oh.
wow.
ok.

dude, did you try to bite off dave's cape on the meteor?
you did, didn't you????????
heheheh, you guys are tools.

wait. seriously?
you really thought there would be a trick?
dave doesn't really trick people.
it isn't his thing.
in fact, it is my thing.
tricking people isn't ironic enough for him.

what did you think would happen?
was the drink going to turn into a jack-in-the-box, pop up and punch you in the face?
or was it made with pepper instead of coffee?
was the whip cream really shaving cream?
did you think he peed in it?

no, because dave is not a MASTER PRANKSTER and none of those things would have occurred to him.
he wasn't even engaging you in a passive-aggressive friendship war.
that would be rose's thing.

[ done, privately done, sooooo super privately done ]

[ 1/WOW, I THINK YOU NEED A PRIVATE TIME OUT. ]

[ SO THIS BOX I HAVE IS PRETTY PRIVATE. WHAT?? NO I'M NOT HOLDING IT AT WAIST LEVEL, WHY. ]

[ ROW ROW ROW YOUR PRIVATE GENTLY DOWN THE WHAT. ]

[ EMBARRASSED BY A PREVIOUS PITIFUL PRIVATE IN PRIVATE. ]

[ PRIVATE AS FUCK. ]

[ MARY HAD A LITTLE PRIVATE AND IT WAS SHROUDED BY SECRECY AND ALSO MYSTERY. ]

[ h9n9r PRIVATE ]

[ JUST BETWEEN YOU AND ME PRIVATELY, IT WORKED OUT BETTER THIS WAY. ]

[ IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE PRIVATE. ]

[ WOW, FANTASTIC PRIVATE! ]

[ PRIVATE MEMORIES PROBABLY. ]

[ PRIVATE PROBLEMS IN THIS PRIVATE MESSAGE. ]

[ PRIVATES ON PARADE. ]

[ PRIVATE MATTERS. ]

[ PRIVATE KAREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN. ]

[ OH MY PRIVATE CHRIST WHY AM I NOT DONE WITH THIS YET. ]

[ ALMOST PRIVATELY DONE I THINK. ]

[ PRIVATELY PARANOID AND ALSO MOTHERFUCKING DONE. ]

[ privately covering a lot of parts of what you just said ]

[ BABY I CAN SEE YOUR PRIVATE FROM THE DOORWAY OF MY BEDROOM ]

[ PRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE ]

[ a young man diagnosed with private revisits every place he's ever had sex (in private) ]

[ private drama ]

[ derrick weston: private actor ]